Shout Your Wins

I recently re-read my 2023 year in review post and I noticed something peculiar. I completely left out the fact that in 2023 I took my bedroom beat making out of the bedroom for the first time. Let me back it up a bit. 

My musical journey has taken me on many paths. I’m down to try anything once, especially artistically. Since working with dBs I’ve always had an appreciation for production. Of course I’d made the backing music for my YouTube “Major to Minor” videos but I (wrongly) never considered that to be producing. In the early months of the pandemic I bought my first piece of production hardware, the Korg Volca Beats. An analog drum machine. Soon after that I bought the Volca Keys and I was on my way. 

Like any beginner my first attempts were not masterpieces, but it was definitely fun. Now fast-forward to 2023 and I’d already released an EP on vinyl and 2 songs, “You Freed Me” and “#Blessed” that featured my production. But my beats were not the focus of these projects and looking at all these producers showcasing their instrumentals at shows and on beat tapes - I knew there was more I wanted to do. 

In Brooklyn there are events and collectives that focus on producers as the main attraction. From Donut Lounge, to Supply Chain Radio and venues like The Sampler and Wonderville. These spaces allow artists to express themselves in hip hop without rhyme. As a rhymer, I think this is dope and wanted very much to become a part of it. So I built up my catalog of worthy beats and entered the March open aux competition at Donut Lounge and I won! And I had the audacity to leave that out of my year in review!

This may be part of a larger problem. My inability to recognize my wins. Why do I do this? Do I not believe I’m worthy of recognition? Do I not believe my wins are actual wins!? What past trauma is manifesting itself in this way? Lots of questions not too many answers. 

I don’t believe I’m alone in this mindset. I think other creatives may also suffer from an inability to be satisfied or feeling accomplished, especially when there’s little or no monetary exchange for the art. It may stem from insecurities we’re not even aware of. Regardless, this mindset is restricting. It does not benefit us to shy away from our accomplishments regardless of how small they may seem. Big yourselves up. Big up others around you. When you do some dope shit, let the world know and point out the dopeness you witness. 

Any amount of positive energy put into this world is a net gain. 

I love y’all. 

Community over competition. 

ryan-o’neil

Staying Blessed in the New Year

I started 2023 by releasing a song that was a reminder to keep the important things in mind and remain grateful. I need that message now more than ever. The last 4 months have been tough. 

From losing my job in September to medical issues with my pets to the ever present crushing nature of capitalism in the United States, it’s been a lot to handle. But as I got ready to write this look back on what’s felt like the hardest year I’ve had in a while, I remember that I AM blessed. There’s air in my lungs and people in my life who love and care for me. And while the stress of trying to get heard remain, music continues to be a source of joy in my life.

This year I was able to go on my first tour. It was a great experience that taught me that I just have to do the things that I want to do. As simple as that sounds, it’s quite profound to me. Too often I’ve hesitated doing things out of fear and I don’t want to live like that anymore. I’ve got so much music on my hard drive that was supposed to be released in 2023 but I talked myself out of it. No more of that shit. 

I’m not gonna sit here and say some platitude like “2024 time to score!” or whatever. However, this is a promise to myself that no matter what lies ahead I will face it with strength, and courage bolstered by the care of my loved ones. 

I hope you’re all doing well at the end of 2023. Your support is greatly appreciated. See y’all in January. 

NYC venues and their powerful sound systems: or why everyone you know has hearing loss

This weekend I trekked to north Brooklyn (yes, I have to distinguish it) for a show at The Sampler. Supply Chain.radio put the event together as part of a fund raiser for Yume Soul, who is going through some (non-Covid related) medical complications at the moment. Supply Chain.radio focuses on producers and beatmakers, those who purvey in the boom bap style of instrumental hip hop. Some of you may even call it Lo-fi hiphop. I don’t, but some of you may. 

As a budding beatmaker myself, and a supporter of local scenes, I decided to check it all out. Plus, I wanted to support Yume in any way that I could. I heard his music on IG during the pandemic and instantly became a fan.

The Sampler is a pretty small…venue? Really it’s a bar with a HELLUVA sound system and very tasty drinks. There was food on the menu but I came for the tunes. 

The first producer I heard when we got there was Subphylum. His stuff was cool but honestly…either 37 is way over the hill or that joint was turned up a lot too loud. I’m talking literally painful to the ears. Don’t get me wrong. Subphylum was dope. His beats had a new sound with that oh so comforting boom bap feeling, howevuh, I couldn’t stay inside too long. My ears and head were in too much pain. And of course I did not have earplugs. My wife even asked the bartender for earplugs to no avail. Aren’t we cool? 

I have a feeling more than a few people made comments about the volume because for the next few performers, the level was much more bearable. My wife and I really enjoyed Brown Jewel’s set. She brought her DJ equipment and did her thing. Her music is a nice mix of laid back, vibey-ness, with the knock we all love. 

After Brown Jewel’s set I made sure to cop a t-shirt to support Yume Soul. I had the opportunity to chop it up with Subphylum and thank him for a great show. Next door to The Sampler is a spot that makes amazing Venezuelan street food. Needless to say, I had my mind on that deliciousness all night. After a short wait for tostones, and some carne asada, and it was time for home. That is until Jeni spotted an Artichoke pizza. Don’t gang up on her too quick. She only likes the Sicilian. So we go into Artichoke and stumble onto a jam session with a DJ, violin player, bass, and emcees. I have no idea what was going on but the vibe was beautiful. We only stayed as long as it took for Jeni’s pizza to be ready. 

Overall it was a great night. I could’ve done without the Uber driver who was taking turns like he was going for the checkered flag, but all in all we made it home safely, the ringing in our ears eventually stopped, and a great night was had. 

‘sup

So, I’m trying something new. As most of us know, new things are scary. But as I get older, I’m learning, or at least, trying to learn how to embrace scary, new things.

I’m hoping this blog turns into a new means of expression for me. Something less polished than my songs and videos. Maybe some poetry, definitely some original cocktail recipes, and just about whatever else I can think of.

If you enjoy it, let me know. If you don’t…maybe keep that to yourself. Like Erykah Badu said, “I’m an artist, and I’m sensitive about my shit.”